| | so, I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm scared. This summer internship continues to become a bigger and bigger job. Here, I'll explain (for those of you who aren't alyssa...lol). When I got hired for this job, there were 6 interns and 2 youth pastors all working in this massive youth ministry, here in Jackson. I made the team become 7 interns and 2 youth pastors when they hired me. My one job assignment (see previous blogs) was to love the kids that were hard to love, basically. The druggie kids, the sexually active girls, the gangster boys.... those are now MY kids and I really do almost feel like they are all in some way either my children or my siblings. I would do anything for them. God has done SOOO much in the last month and I don't want to miss giving him that glory. I have two girls that are now meeting with me weekly for bible study....two girls that I was told would NEVER open up. I have another girl that I'm meeting with weekly to counsel and I can see God at work in her life as well. Those are just two examples. However, the one thing I love the most and the one thing I would never ever trade.... is draining the crap outta me. Spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and even physically. In the last month and a half I have been hired, I have counseled rape victims, pregnancies, conviscated drugs, had to ask a cop to escort a child from the church campus...... and the list just goes on. On top of that I JUST found out that for the summer... I will be the ONLY intern. yup, that's right. the team of 7 is now 1.....and I already feel stretched with them helping me! Basically, all I'm saying is that this summer is going to be tough. It'll be rewarding, and honestly, I feel like I'm gonna be a mission trip a little bit. However, this mission trip is my life.It's not on the other side of the world where I can leave in a week or two and just go home. I will be in Franklin, TN for maybe 2-3 weeks TOPS this summer and I can't even begin to express to you how hard that is. I want so badly to be with you guys in franklin. I see pictures, and I realize that I could be in them. I hear inside jokes, and I realize that I could have known what they meant...... but I know I'm called to be here, and as hard as it is to be apart from Alyssa, Tyler, Kendra, Abbey, Chris, Kory, Nathan (when he's home), kim, Kate (when she gets back), kelsy, etc...... I know I'm supposed to be HERE. These kids need me and they need me to show them who Jesus Christ is, b/c no one has before. sorry for the long rant. Today, I'm giving myself a day of rest. I'm driving to a friend's house in memphis and I will be spending the day by the pool with my paints, my journal, my music, and my bible. If you call and I don't answer.... it's probably b/c I have turned it off. Today, I'm not taking care of 200 kids. I'm taking care of Amanda Baldwin, cuz if she's not ready to go....there's no way this summer will be any good for anyone. |
